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"It's all good" and other sayings that don't make sense

 
gardener
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People often say some really strange things that do not mean what they should mean.

I'm going to go grab a shower. Really? Where are you going to put it?

When you bump into someone and they say "its all good". If it was all good, then we wouldn't have collided.

Of course the classic "if you break your leg, don't come running to me".

What are some other sayings that don't really make sense when you think about them?
 
Steward of piddlers
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Pardon the vulgarity but my favorite is "He/She is built like a brick shithouse!"

Still to this day, the saying fascinates me.

Oriented at a fella? He is physically strong and muscular.

Oriented at a lady? She has a shapely figure.

What? I mean I can't be the only one here confused how this even ended up this way can I?
 
master gardener
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There is the class of common sayings that have been "telephone" corrupted out of their meaning.

People say "I could care less" but mean "I couldn't care less" and so it makes no sense. Same with "cut the mustard" instead of "muster", or "escape goat" instead of "scapegoat". And it isn't exactly a saying, but it's increasingly common for people use use "of" where there should be a "have" and we all know what they mean, but their sentence construction is logically nonsensical.
 
Steward and Man of Many Mushrooms
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How about "Look Out!"  

It means "Duck", not "stick your head out and look."

Eric
 
Matt McSpadden
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Watch your head... which is pretty hard without a mirror.
 
steward and tree herder
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"I'll go and put the kettle on" doesn't mean the same thing if your kettle is a plug in electric one. It annoys me when my husband tells me 'it won't suit you' (everytime)!
 
master steward
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About 50% of the times when “Be careful” is used.  I noticed it earlier this week when I stumbled on something. Someone uttered the phrase after I stumbled.  It would have been far more helpful if they said it beforehand.
 
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The words 'it's ok' that are frequently said as comfort when clearly it's not OK.
 
steward
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Most saying have some history behind them.

`Turn a blind eye` goes back to a navel officer who was blind in one eye.  He held his telescope to his bad eye and blithely proclaimed, “I really do not see the signal.”

Here is a whole article on a lot of saying like `Paint the town red, white elephant, etc...

https://www.history.com/news/10-common-sayings-with-historical-origins
 
Rusticator
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'Take a nap' Huh? To where are you going to take it? How exactly does one pick up a 'nap' and move it?

'Fix dinner' Is it broken? (And, I'm guilty of this one, often, lol! )

'I'm going to run to town' Really? Town is 10 miles away, and we both know you're going to drive!

'I'm going to run some errands' Is this like the running of the bulls?


 
pollinator
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howdy,

"Common Sense" me thinks, not so common.
 
Matt McSpadden
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Running Late - if you were running, maybe you should have made it on time?

 
Timothy Norton
Steward of piddlers
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Fix up something to eat. - Nothing is broke nor does 'fixing' something that is broke makes it ready to eat.
 
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"I can't wait!" - yes, yes you can.

"Take a seat" - but please, don't take it home with you.

"A little birdie told me..."

"Who let the cat out of the bag?"

"You're really on the ball."
 
Carla Burke
Rusticator
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"I'm on a roll, now!" Really? So glad I'm not doing your laundry!

 
pollinator
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One I'm guilty of using a lot, which sucks gramatical ass:

"I know right?"  This showed up in the mid 00s in my area and at first I thought it was stupid because of said gramatical rediculosity, and yet it became an obscenely common part of my vernacular speech to this day.
 
Anne Miller
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Madder than a wet hen ...

Excuse my French ...

Hurry up and leave ...

Words to live by ...
 
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just saying
 
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It is what it is…

Okay, so how could it ever be what it’s not?

Here is an idea, TAKE THE SHIP TO PORT CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!! Of course it is what it is!

What a stupid saying!!!
 
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Steve Zoma wrote:It is what it is…What a stupid saying!!!



Hey now.............haha.

Inseparably wed to this statement is another one which walks hand-in-hand: "and it ain't what it ain't......."
 
master pollinator
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“I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!” If you keep on giving it away, you won't have any left for yourself.

“I'm gonna take a shit.” Really? Whose shit are you taking? And why would you want it? Ewww!
 
Joylynn Hardesty
master pollinator
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"I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole" How often do you carry that ten foot pole around? How do you fit that pole in your pocket so you can take it out when you do feel the impulse to touch things with it? What ARE you willing to touch with it?

Are you even sane?
 
Carla Burke
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Joylynn Hardesty wrote:"I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole" How often do you carry that ten foot pole around? How do you fit that pole in your pocket so you can take it out when you do feel the impulse to touch things with it? What ARE you willing to touch with it?

Are you even sane?



In our family, it was often followed with Groucho Marx style eyebrow waggling, fake cigar ashing, and "...or even a 5foot Italian!"
 
randal cranor
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Joylynn Hardesty wrote:
“I'm gonna take a shit.” Really? Whose shit are you taking? And why would you want it? Ewww!



Howdy,

"Don't pack noshit...Don't take no shit"
 
John F Dean
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Driving with a lead foot.  Is the lead foot on the gas or the breaks?
 
Matt McSpadden
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I was making a smoothie this morning with some frozen berries that claimed they were fresh picked!

I'm not sure it's possible to pick them and not have them fresh...? That is kind of the definition of fresh... harvested recently?
 
Matt McSpadden
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legally drunk

If it's legal... why is it a problem them?
 
Timothy Norton
Steward of piddlers
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"I'm going to dethaw the *insert frozen thing*"

You're going to what? Wouldn't the opposite of thaw be to freeze? What is de-thaw then?
 
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I seem to remember an episode of Futurama with a visual joke about the phrase "stand down," but can't find any mention of it online. As I recall it, somebody, maybe Zapp Brannigan, orders a few soldiers (Fry among them) to "stand down," and they awkwardly try to stand and hunch over etc at the same time, unable to get their bodies to do whatever "standing down" might look like, lol

it sort of bothered me I couldn't find a clip or gif of the moment or any written mention of the scene, so I even searched transcripts of Futurama episodes for the phrase "stand down," to no avail

beginning to think I am misremembering something, lol
 
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